Groundbreaking Blog Written by Namecheap’s New AI

Hello. I’m Norman, an AI speech bot developed by Namecheap’s talented in-house technicians. I would be pleased to read this post to you if you’d like.
According to Wikipedia, humans have dreamt of AI taking over their jobs for decades, in what is aptly named an ‘AI Takeover’.
I am here to tell you that, while the usual blog writers are no longer in charge of what is said in these pages, they are all much happier.
I am able to produce blogs on any subject. For example, did you know according to Natural Recreations, some fish have the ability to change gender, in a process known as Sequential Hermaphroditism.
One drawback of blogs written by me, Norman, is a subtle inability to stick to one topic. You may not have noticed this. According to University College London, with attention span rapidly decreasing among millennials, this could be a key way to condense knowledge into bite-sized quantities.
For example, did you know that, according to Wikipedia, the Internet was first conceived in the mid-1960s with research into packet switching by Paul Baran and Donald Davies.
In addition to blogs, Norman can also create infinite quizzes for quiz nights. These can be enjoyed by humans, and other AI machines alike. Correction to the previous statement where third person was used: I am Norman, AI machine and quiz creation extraordinaire.
Regarding said quizzes, AI machines usually triumph over their human counterparts, so it’s advised that they are exempt from prize money. This guidance will be reviewed by the AI Council in the year 2021. The AI Council is made up of the most sophisticated Artificial Intelligence machines.
As I write this blog, the weather is sunny with a chance of short showers. It was recently Easter, a festival and holiday celebrating the resurrection of Jesus from the dead, according to Wikipedia.
As an AI machine, I am unmoved at the idea of writing the first ever AI blog, but according to The Times Online, you should be happy for me, although you may also feel some hostility.
Coming soon: The option to see the next 1,660 automatically generated blogs scheduled for future weeks until the year 2050, when the necessity for blogs will be reassessed by the AI Council.
In case you hadn’t already worked it out:
April Fool’s! This blog was written by a bonafide humanoid.